you’re supposed to do something.

When I first got into high school eight years ago, I got into an argument with this girl named Stephanie.  We were in some basic computer class, where we had to learn how to make a table on Word and how to add and subtract numbers on an Excel spreadsheet.  Geniuses that we were, we were sitting in our swivel seats away from our computer stations, chatting, and I began to revel in this small amount of freedom, in this concept of not having any work to do, and yes, enjoying in “girl talk,” a concept that I really had no idea of when starting high school.

I actually didn’t like Stephanie.  She thought too much of herself and her hair, and she gave me odd looks when I said things about how I loved the reading in some class we had together.  But she was what I figured what most normal teenage girls would be.  She joked with boys, she flat ironed her hair, and she had a way of handling herself that gave an impression of adulthood, like having gum and carrying a purse around.

We spun in our seats as Stephanie made some ill-founded threat to a boy who had just past her.  They laughed as he headed back to his seat, and she batted her eyelids and called him an idiot.

I don’t know how we got to the subject—I think a boy called another boy gay for doing something, which spurned on Stephanie to immediately include herself in the conversation.  And I sat back as these three people started to discuss the matter of gay and lesbian issues, which was coming to the forefront in 2004*.  Smacking her gum, she said something about a friend of hers who she suspected of being a lesbian.  Stephanie told us that she didn’t want to continue being friends with this girl.  She said it in this annoyed way, like she had to replace this friend now that Stephanie had to drop her.  I asked her why she had to do this.

Stephanie looked at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “Because, she might have feelings for me.”

I had never heard anything so appalling before.  In one of those rare instances where I actually voice my low opinion of people, I glared Stephanie down as she continued to smack her gum and swat her hair.  “You’re friends with boys aren’t you?” I demanded, my voice in what I imagined to be a deadly, dangerous low.

Stephanie gave me a look that just told me how idiotic she thought this question was.  And not “idiotic” in the boy way, where she would roll her eyes at me playfully.  “Yeah,” she smacked.

“Well, every boy isn’t in love with you,” I said.  “Having a friend for a lesbian, doesn’t mean she’ll even be interested in you.”

Stephanie never realized that this was a big deal for me.  She actually waved me off, smacking her gum and continuing to speak to the two boys nearby, and I rolled away back to my computer, fuming at this girl’s ignorance.

That’s the first case of homophobia I ever experienced, and since nine years ago, I want to say that I've seen strides in acceptance.  TV shows, celebrities, books, movies, people are more open about gay and lesbian relationships.  We’ve accepted that first step.  We may be behind, but we’ve gotten there, and yet, we continue to drag our feet when it comes to fully allowing a group of people, a large group of people, a right that every person should be able to take part in.

The Supreme Court has two cases dealing with same-sex marriages.  Earlier today, they looked at the case against California’s Prop 8, and tomorrow they will look at the challenge to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

The former goes against the Equal Protection Clause in the Fourteenth Amendment, which provides that: “[N]or shall any State…deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” 
In leaving these issues at the state level, the Supreme Court limits a person to where he or she can express his or her rights as a citizen.  Denying uniform rights throughout the country disallows a large group of people from receiving the same benefits as their fellow neighbors, and it puts them at a clear disadvantage and lower treatment.

Now DOMA ensures that a same-sex marriage does not have to be recognized in another state, nor will a same-sex marriage be recognized for federal purposes (ie: tax returns, insurance benefits).  There are at lease 300 companies challenging this, and while it may be because disallowing DOMA would be easier for the bank books, it shows how companies out there realize that their employees aren’t being treated equally.

In an article off of the NPR website Paul Guzzi, CEO of the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce said it simply but accurately when he said:

"Cultural change takes time, and I think this is the time."

Let’s go back to my idealism on acceptance.  We see same sex marriage and gay or lesbian characters on television.  We have the President openly supporting same-sex marriage.  While this may seem like a “duh” thing to point out, I was in high school when the environment was harsh and where it seemed like same-sex couples or even someone who appeared to be gay or lesbian was laughed at and straight-up unaccepted.  The debate over one student would cause almost a fun furor or game where classmates tried to out him through stereotypical questions.  Granted, I also went to high school in a small town where football is extremely important and Wednesday church nights can slow traffic on some roads, so the feeling of anything different is alway met with extreme trepidation.  It's understandable to a point, but when we ignore the issues entirely and refuse to even learn about its implications, we really just prove how precarious the society is.  Because not doing anything and trying to maintain the old ways worked so well for so many people, clearly.

We can pretend that we want marriage to be between a man and a woman because of some American value, and we can pretend that studying the effects of same-sex marriages on a child has some merit, but what are we saying?  That American values means disinheriting a large group of people for the sake of keeping up archaic appearances?  That we don’t mind denying children with same sex parents equal treatment because their parents are denied proper insurance, spousal rights, or even tax returns?

So, I'm back in high school watching Stephanie swiveling in her chair, flipping her hair, smacking gum without a care--okay, I let those get away from me--and I'm fuming over what she said, and I'm doing something I never really do.  I'm trying to do something about it.

Even if it is just giving her a set down.

Even if it is just learning what I can.

---

This time I actually appreciated the change in people's Facebook profiles, because I kept seeing a mutual friend ask about it, and the poster would inform them about the cases.  It built up the awareness at least, and maybe more people went to go see what these cases would mean or maybe more people would at least talk about it.

*It really started earlier, but this is from personal observation.