I have decided that that this was going to my last blog post. Yeah. I know. I'm calling it quits.
And I don't feel defeated or sad or like I'm running away from my problems, which this blog has really made me think about. I'm doing it out of a sheer "it's time to move on" mindset.
Granted we've been off and on for a while, blog, and more recently, off. That should've been my first clue. My second clue should've been the fact that I started thinking of other blogs on the side. I've been mentally cheating on you!
So I started this project because I have a tendency to overthink to an exhaustive level and to laugh at these moments where I think I'm awkward. And while those moments still happen and while I still overthink things, I can honestly say that I think I've gotten better at not agonizing over it all the time.
Okay, maybe for five minutes.
And maybe I still say my name as a comfort mechanism.
But I like to think that I've made more progress.
Like sometimes, I just hum when a terrible memory comes into my head. Or sometimes I'll say "beep bope, bope, bope," which can be played off as singing, not crazy.
Right?
Right?
And here I am trying to convince you that you've done your job, blog.
The other day, I had to go return these aquarium filters for my uncle. He just bought them that morning, and he started to panic that the people at the shop would hate him for doing it. He started to pontificate on all of the terrible things they might think of him, and I, yes me, had to tell him to calm down, that no one really cared if you returned anything. It just happened.
I remember being on the other side of the counter, and it not being a big deal if someone had to return an item they just purchased an hour ago. Sometimes I would remember, sometimes not, and frankly it was easier for us when they would do it that soon. So I offered to do it myself, grabbing my sneakers and the bag of unused aquarium filters.
It was just funny because, well, my uncle was doing something that I have done countless of times before, and it was me talking him down from it. What was the world coming to? Also, was this mindset genetic?
I laughed as I went to go return the box.
So I sort of reference that tiny story when I have to do something that I start to overthink. Like right now. I usually plan ahead so I only stay at a cafe for two to two and a half hours if I have to work, but thanks to shoddy timing on my part, I'm going to be here for four hours. Four! That's longer than Lord of the Rings.
I honestly started to panic at being a leech for that long. I mean, I know that people with laptops can be the bane of a cafe's existence, but I really need to work somewhere. And going back home will take at least fifty minutes, not to mention ten more just to get all of my apps running once I get there.
No. No I'll stay right here. I'll comfort myself with the fact that I don't frequent this place. I'll comfort myself with that reminder that J.K. Rowling spent hours at the Elephant House to work on the first Harry Potter novel. I'll comfort myself with the fact that, hell, no one cares.
And even if they do, what's the worst that can happen?*
So LYLAS, blog. And seeing as it is the first day of the season, HAGS.
Sincerely,
that girl george
Yes, I used the last shot of Friends for my last post. You get +50 points! But seeing as this is my last post, I guess this doesn't have much value...just know you're cool.
*zombie apocalypse. I decided that that's the worst that can happen.