When you start pumpkin carving, it sounds like a fun activity. You think, maybe a little too arrogantly, that if your friends can do it, then you can do it, if not better.
You search for pumpkin patterns that are unique enough to reflect your personality, can be referenced from current events*, and that will impress your friends. You even have fun looking for a pumpkin. You and your sisters had to race against the sun to find out that the church pumpkin patch, which if you bought one there would give you the necessary church points you need, only to find it closed**. You find another patch near a gas station. The man who gives you the run down on how to find a pumpkin has a cool bear hat. You immediately trust him, because there is a deal for three for $20. You buy six.
Afterwards, you load up the trunk of your sister's Civic with the six pumpkins, using her cemented-butt imprint*** as a means to keep the pumpkins from rolling around. Then you start to talk about how you wished you got pictures from the patch since it was your first time. You agree to head back over, confusing Bear Hat man, but clarify that you're good with your six pumpkins. You pretend to pick pumpkins in exaggerated methods as one would use to pick fruit (ie: smelling, squeezing, knocking, looking) and pretend that you're exploring the entire patch for your perfect match!
When you get home, you're excited to start. You're overzealous when you stab the paring knife into pumpkin's top. You scream automatically. Everyone looks at you for an explanation. You feel silly that it's because the knife easily went into the pumpkin, and that the pumpkin, to you, is like a head, so in your frame of reference, you're stabbing someone in the head. Anthony takes your pumpkin to finish taking the tops off for you.
But the fun doesn't end there! You have pumpkin guts and seeds and scraping to go through. You have actual carving, where you get upset because small pieces fall off when you're not looking. Then you have the final pieces to pop out, so you can finally see that--
You accidentally cut off half of Steve Jobs' face off. He's a half Job. You're upset, but can't let it show because the boys aren't really working but watching you and the rest of them are intently working on their pumpkins.
When you light it, it's not that bad. It's artistic, you excuse. Then you look at all the extra pumpkins and think that maybe you guys bought too many.
You end up carving a soccer ball with Tony and Kati's help. You give up on the Pikachu pumpkin you wanted to make by skipping the de-gutting and going straight for on the surface carving. You excuse this with being experimental.
When you see everyone else' pumpkins, you think that yours is pretty passable. As the New Boyz would say, it looked better with the lights off.
*My pumpkin choices were Steve Jobs and Pikachu.
**Clearly in an attempt to keep safe from the vampires.
***Y'know those hand imprints people usually use for their kids hands in gardens? Some people are creative and think, oh I don't want my garden to have my hand print...and so on and so forth
