So since last week's final episode of "The Office," I've been feeling mighty melancholy over life, because first "Gossip Girl" and then "Emily Owens M.D." and now this?
It's enough for me to actually focus on my own life that's what, and that's not what I want to do.
I mean, sure I now have Netflix and I am currently marathoning through "30 Rock" episodes, but I miss waiting for a show to happen. I miss spoilers online and actually investing myself into it. And, yes, maybe arguing over forums about plot points because I am insane and feel like this is making a difference.
Besides, coming up with my online persona is fun. She's sassy and cutting, but always logical. She never brings other people down, though they may ship different than her.
It's not hard to find a good show. There are plenty out there, and I have tons of people who have a fandom they are equally crazy about and want me to be equally crazy about, but I just can't bring myself to catch up with them just yet. It's the equivalent of trying to catch a moving train, I'd imagine. They're all having fun and shooting the breeze as I run alongside, but I have short legs and I don't run all that often and I see a bakery instead...
So many times in life, I think I could be headed towards greatness, and I get distracted by a bakery.
Besides, I can't get into a new show right now. I'm filled with feelings.
And besides, I have trust issues. I have these weird trust issues that when a new show comes out, it won't be renewed like "Emily Owens," and I'll be left hanging with feelings while the rest of the world goes on. And I'll feel like no one cares! No one cares about me because my characters left me! And what will I use to de-stress now? Yoga?
Yeah, because sitting in a room, concentrating on my own breathing is the escapism I need. Pfft.
Now, if my own breathing had something to do with a love triangle and misunderstandings, and shenanigans, maybe. But, alas, my oxygen remains a singular character in an empty sitcom where the plot is mostly in through my nose and out as a carbon dioxide. There's an entire transformation that takes place and that's sexy in a Felicity gets a haircut way, I guess, but there's really no interest, because there's no drama.
I just miss "The Office," I guess, because it was really a big part of my life, unlike yoga.
Granted, I gave up on it* for a few seasons, but I came back just like Ross and Rachel did every time. We were meant to be.
"The Office" was about nine years of my life. I remember sitting on our carpet in front of the TV, watching the first episode. I remember being in that same position when I gasped and saw the Season Two Finale. I was in that same place, when I saw Michael's last episode.
And while I realized now that I really need more furniture, I also realized that that show was there during one of the happiest times in my life. It was there when I was just getting into Myspace, for goodness' sakes, and yes, I friended/added** all of the actors because they had working internet on set and had accounts. It was my weekend watch when my sister and I were redoing our bedroom, when I had cleaning to do, or when I was at the house by myself.
I watched that show a lot, and it made me think about where I was the first time I saw Jim and Pam together or Michael trying to joke around. It made me think about how I used it for my feminism in the media class for my final project. It made me realize that for a good four years, those boxed sets were the only presents I gave Sam for birthdays or Christmas.
It's weird to think of the impact of a show, then again, I do it a lot***, but I'm happy and sad and deeply despondent when it comes to the idea of this show ending. It started when I was in high school, and since then I've used it to talk to other people. I've used it as a project. I've used it just to make myself feel better. And now it's done.
Thinking about who I was when it started and what I was doing when I first saw it makes me cringe, really hard. But it's one of those nice bittersweet endings, where I have to accept it, reflect only on the good and hope maybe I'll see those actors later on. And I move on.
Actually, I just slump around and re-watch the first season, but after that, I am certainly moving on.
*I gave up on yoga a lot. I still think I'm a master, but that seems unjustified. Though I do own several pairs of yoga pants.
**This is how long ago it was. What term was used in Myspace? Is it sad that I'm asking this?
***Please see any reference I make to "Felicity."