I got a library card yesterday.
I have this whole gimmick on how library cards are the first step to saying "Hey I actually belong here!" because libraries often need proof of address when you apply.
Only thing is, I don't have proof of living here, unless you count my empty ice cream container piling in the recycling.
Oh? You don't?
All I had were a few written letters to me from back home, so I grabbed one of those, knowing full well that this was a long shot, and I handed it to the librarian, along with my Georgia ID.
Needless to say, she was in stark, sassy disbelief when she looked at the handwritten envelope, then at me. I think her words were, "I can't just take this."
My response was to make an embarrassed grab for it. "Okay...I'll just take it back." Reach.
She wasn't going to have any of that. "Oh, I'll take it now," she said as if this was a huge inconvenience and she was my savior. I blushed hard as she stared me down. "But just so you know, this isn't an official document. You can't just carry around envelopes and give it to people."
No that didn't make sense.
"I can't just carry envelopes?" I asked in disbelief, frankly un-understanding what she was talking about by this point. Maybe my trembling fear was disconnecting my logic hard drive. "Like it's not safe?" Maybe there was something in the news I missed? Perhaps people can steal you address if you carried around envelopes willy-nilly! Or maybe I wasn't supposed to just hand her an envelope. Maybe I had to get it notarized for authenticity?
"No! Anyone can do this," she said, brandishing the handwritten envelope, which was when I realized that she was still doing that sassy condescending bit and not being helpful. Excuse me for thinking that libraries were resource centers for knowledge and information.
A part of me wanted to joke that babies, the thumbless, and the illiterate can't write letters, but that would be unfair to those people.
Instead, I got a little annoyed. "Then I'll just take it back," I insisted again, but she refused to listen and handed me a document, telling me to sit down and fill out a form to get a library card.
I almost didn't want one anymore. What did Yelp say about this establishment? They were going to hear from me!
When I came back to hand her everything, she went over the forms and my driver's license, mutely tip-taping onto the keyboard. I felt bad for that keyboard. I felt bad that that was her only contact with humans, or at least inputting human information, because who would want to get chummy with someone like this?
The cold plastic keys of the QWERTY I guess.
Of course, I think she realized my noob status when she saw my out-of-state ID. She asked me when I moved, so I told her about a month.
"Oh," she perked up, still condescending. "So very recently."
"Yeah," I said, swallowing the sarcastic reply of "and everyone I've met has been so nice!" Instead, I just stood there as she typed and filled out everything She went over a few rules, briskly, but I didn't really want to talk to her. She was already ruining the library for me.
On the bright side, I got a library card. And on the other bright side, there are multiple copies of things I want. And the eBook program is pretty sweet. And I'm part of four book clubs, so this helps a ton.
I just really don't like that Library Dragon. Remember that book from childhood? Yeah, it's not just a book.
Only thing is, I don't have proof of living here, unless you count my empty ice cream container piling in the recycling.
Oh? You don't?
All I had were a few written letters to me from back home, so I grabbed one of those, knowing full well that this was a long shot, and I handed it to the librarian, along with my Georgia ID.
Needless to say, she was in stark, sassy disbelief when she looked at the handwritten envelope, then at me. I think her words were, "I can't just take this."
My response was to make an embarrassed grab for it. "Okay...I'll just take it back." Reach.
She wasn't going to have any of that. "Oh, I'll take it now," she said as if this was a huge inconvenience and she was my savior. I blushed hard as she stared me down. "But just so you know, this isn't an official document. You can't just carry around envelopes and give it to people."
No that didn't make sense.
"I can't just carry envelopes?" I asked in disbelief, frankly un-understanding what she was talking about by this point. Maybe my trembling fear was disconnecting my logic hard drive. "Like it's not safe?" Maybe there was something in the news I missed? Perhaps people can steal you address if you carried around envelopes willy-nilly! Or maybe I wasn't supposed to just hand her an envelope. Maybe I had to get it notarized for authenticity?
"No! Anyone can do this," she said, brandishing the handwritten envelope, which was when I realized that she was still doing that sassy condescending bit and not being helpful. Excuse me for thinking that libraries were resource centers for knowledge and information.
A part of me wanted to joke that babies, the thumbless, and the illiterate can't write letters, but that would be unfair to those people.
Instead, I got a little annoyed. "Then I'll just take it back," I insisted again, but she refused to listen and handed me a document, telling me to sit down and fill out a form to get a library card.
I almost didn't want one anymore. What did Yelp say about this establishment? They were going to hear from me!
When I came back to hand her everything, she went over the forms and my driver's license, mutely tip-taping onto the keyboard. I felt bad for that keyboard. I felt bad that that was her only contact with humans, or at least inputting human information, because who would want to get chummy with someone like this?
The cold plastic keys of the QWERTY I guess.
Of course, I think she realized my noob status when she saw my out-of-state ID. She asked me when I moved, so I told her about a month.
"Oh," she perked up, still condescending. "So very recently."
"Yeah," I said, swallowing the sarcastic reply of "and everyone I've met has been so nice!" Instead, I just stood there as she typed and filled out everything She went over a few rules, briskly, but I didn't really want to talk to her. She was already ruining the library for me.
On the bright side, I got a library card. And on the other bright side, there are multiple copies of things I want. And the eBook program is pretty sweet. And I'm part of four book clubs, so this helps a ton.
I just really don't like that Library Dragon. Remember that book from childhood? Yeah, it's not just a book.