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March 11, 2013

your nose sees red




As a sickly child turned sickly grown-up, I learned to deal with my ailments from itchy rashes, continuous colds, and nosebleeds with nary a regard to decency.  By this I mean, I theorized that if I acted like it was normal, than everyone would stop freaking out around me. 

Take for example, my recent nosebleed at work.  Granted, working at a consignment shop with gently used items while being allergic to dust may not seem the best way to avoid an ailment—contact with my skin results in rashes, contact with my nose results in nose blood loss—I can usually stand it with the help of medication and Kanye’s words of wisdom that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  That or I just choose to live a little dangerously.  Next, you know, I’ll be dancing in the middle of the street with an ice cream in my back pocket, two blue laws of my small hometown.  For now, I’ll just risk nosebleeds at work.


All of us at the store have gotten used to it, so we’re pretty prepared when it happens, like my bag of cotton I keep hidden near the register for these purposes, and the weary, yet concerned call from my coworkers as I rush to the restroom “again?”

I stopped being embarrassed at having a cotton ball stuck up my nose as I ring people out, and a lot of customers will twitter sympathetically, knowingly, as I fold up their items and hand their credit cards back.  I don’t think anyone’s disgusted at least.

I also get some sort of fun out of surprising people when I turn around to greet them, sort of like I’m testing their character. When I hear a familiar voice of a regular come in, I wait a few moments, then bam!  Surprise!  It's Georgette with a cotton ball up her nostril!  “Good morning!”

“Good—” Face falls.  I go about my business.  “—morning?”

These people will either avoid eye contact with me later or just avoid me in general.

“Good—haha. What are you doing?  Are you okay?”

No, I have a cotton ball up my nose because I’m trying to be the new Nelly, except with cotton.


  “Good—nosebleed?”

I love that response.  Why, yes this is a good nosebleed, thank you.

Sometimes, I’m tempted to tell people that I just got in a major fight over my honor or saved my sisters from wolves in the forest.  Then I think about how much detailing I’d have to come up with, and how I’d have to tell my sisters so they would be prepared in case anyone ever asks them.

I have gone to the doctor for this actually.  I’ve been to two, just because the first one never really saw anything wrong with me, and I began to get fed up with this ordeal.  Allergies or heat or what have you causes them.  In high school, I remember being teased for picking my nose too much.  I'd like to smash those rumors right now.

One of the major ones happened during a test for The Great Gatsby, and after I turned in my scantron and essay, I felt it happen.  I tried to remain calm.  I grabbed the toilet paper roll—we were well into the school year, so those nice Kleenex boxes were long gone by now—and tilted my head back to wait it out.

Only, I noticed that people have a lot of say in how you should handle a nosebleed.  One girl, finished with her test, told me that I should lean forward, lest I choke on my own blood.  Another told me that I needed to create a clot to staunch the blood flow.  My teacher was the one to tell me to go to the restroom.  I had already graduated from the entire roll of tissue paper and was now onto the industrial packs of brown paper towels.

I made my way to the restroom a little daintily, holding my head up, then pulling my chin down because I really didn’t know the risk of choking on my own blood, but I also wanted this ordeal to be done.  So I head bobbed down the hall and into the restroom, where the amount of blood scared a girl talking on her phone in front of the mirrors, and I leaned against the wall with no real plan than to deal with this shame in privacy.

Then of course, the sirens started.

I’m not sure if a lot of schools had code reds, but at my high school, this particular siren meant a practice against a terrorist attack. We only just started having them, and I really forgot about the planned practice drill the principal mentioned on the announcements that morning.  Half of me couldn’t decide if I should go back or just stay where I was.  My nose was worst, and I didn’t want to face my classroom again.  With a test done, there's really nothing interesting to do than stare at the girl with a wad of tissues in front her face, standing over the trashcan.

A girl sauntered in, cool as a cucumber, ignoring the flashing lights.  She gave me a lazy once over before looking at herself in the mirror.  “An ally!” I thought, settling into the wait, but she really just came in to brush her hair, check out her derrière, give me another sad once over, and left.  So much for sisters before terrorist attack drills.

I stayed put for a few moments, weighing the pros and cons, as the sirens continued.  The principal came on to remind us that this was a drill and advised the teachers to close their doors to anyone in the hallway.

Out of confusion or maybe out of just nowhere to sit, I made my way back to my classroom, only to run into my teacher in the hallway.  She looked stern, then relieved, ushering me quickly into the room.  “Now,” she said with a huff.  “Boys and girls, when the sirens come on, please come back to the classroom.”  She looked at me pointedly.  I stood by the trashcan, holding a wad of papers over my nose.

“But it’s only a drill,” I argued meekly.  It sounded more "Bub, ibs only a dwill."

“Even so,” she replied, walking back to her desk.

The nosebleed wouldn’t stop after that.  I had to go to the nurse’s office, where I sat near the door with an ice pack on my nose, feeling very much like Ramona after she smashed an egg into her hair.  I saw lots of girls I knew come in for lady products though.  Many of them eyed me suspiciously, probably because lady products are secrets, and others asked how I was doing.  I remember Karen came in with that excuse to see me.  She gave me a few words of encouragement, before rushing back to AP U.S. history to tell people I knew that I was alive and not dried up.

Weirdly enough, I can remember recall specific times when my nosebleeds really counted.

My first Facebook status was about “severe noseblood loss,” resulting in this long Facebook correspondence from a friend who moved the year before.  In retrospect, it was rather sweet of him.  We hadn’t spoken for a year, an age in teenage time, so he wrote to say that he hoped I recovered from my blood loss, adding a smug line at the end that sounded something like “you thought you heard the last of me when we said bye to each other at the school buses.”  It was a nod to how we met, really.  We used to walk together to the school buses at the end of the day, that is, until, my friend started making me wait for her, so I would wave him off, tell him not to wait, and I'd go with a sister.  Sisters before other walking partners, I suppose.

I honestly didn’t read into the sentimentality of that line until years later, when I reread through it and found things like “Who did you end up going with to the homecoming dance?  Find anyone to dance with?” or "What are you doing this weekend?  We should meet up?"  Oh teenage, Georgette, you and your willful ignorance.

When I was seven, we went on a family vacation back to New Jersey to see my cousins.  It was one of those unbearable summers, unbearable also because I wasn’t used to a lack of central air conditioning, and I remember hearing the ice cream man out on the street, my dad calling me from the cement stoop outside.  He’s sentimental too, my dad.  He thought I’d like to go buy a treat like my sisters used to, so he gave me five dollars, and I meekly went up to the burly ice cream man, who wouldn’t look down at me at all, and asked for one of those Mario ice creams with the gum ball noses.  I saw that it was two dollars.

The burly man gave me the ice cream and took my five dollars.  I waited for change, holding the popsicle stick in my hand, but he kept avoiding my eyes, looking ahead at, well, nothing.  There wasn’t anyone behind me or anyone on the street.  I stayed there a second longer, before clearing my throat, readying myself to demand my father’s cash, when he looked down at me, and scowled.  What did I want, he demanded, and my eyes watered up immediately.  I ran back to our stoop, past my dad, who was asking for change.  Out of either nerves or instinct (for sympathy) my nose started to bleed, and my mom took my ice cream and put it in the fridge and made me sit in front of fan with an ice pack until I calmed down. 

As I sat in that chair with a cold face and a pack of paper towels, seven-year-old me avowed to never let anyone take advantage of me like that again.

Sitting in the Philippines one summer after I read about Laurie in Little Women, before my first phone interview with my social media job, during my first full weekend shift as a gift wrapper, and even before I went to see a movie with my friend Lauren and Sam, nosebleeds are just a way of life with me.  I have honestly gotten so used to it, that when it happens, I’ll just take a cotton ball out of my purse and stick it up a nostril, no preamble or apology.

I had one in while working, surprising one of my favorite regulars today.  “Morning,” I greeted with a cotton up my left nostril.  Shay stopped to look at me.  She gave a light laugh.  “What’s wrong with you?” she asked.  She didn't sound offensive or teasing.

I continued to hang up clothes.  “Nosebleed.”  She nodded along, understanding, and I continued, throwing my fist into the air, “But I will not let that stop me from succeeding, Shay!”

Shay’s face broke into a wide smile.  “More power to you girl!” she called out across the store.  And I continued to ring people out and put up clothes, until, inevitably, I could throw that cotton away.