Luckily, the yogurt was on sale. Yogurt that promised to taste like cake! And I found an avocado and salad bowls, which actually looked a bit brown. They were pretty cheap though I excused this.
I loaded my little basket, swinging it from my elbow with the confidence of someone who had just come from the gym***. Clearly I was a grown-up who shopped for groceries and went to Walmart to save money.
But it was at the register, when the Cashier was ringing up my lone avocado and my wilted salad bowls that I suddenly lost any semblance of my previous grown-up-ness.
"Wow," she said, sliding each yogurt cup across the red laser scanner. This did not seem the most efficient way to sell yogurt. "Looks like someone's eating healthier."
A surge of shame came over me. That's not who I am. I don't eat healthy. I wanted her to know this. "Oh," I said, playing if off ever so well. "That's not mine. They sent me here for that."
"Haha," she laughed. It seemed to be more to herself than anything because her next comment of, "You said 'they sent me here.' Haha" pretty much told me that she didn't believe me.
"No really!" I argued. "It's true!" I motioned towards the bulging bag of yogurt containers. "That's not mine!"
"Uh-huh," the Cashier laughed.
And I left, weighted down by my guilt over being ashamed of my resolutions, the five pounds of yogurt cups in one plastic bag, and my failure at trying to be grown-up.
Slump.
*Yeah. I hate it too.
**Ironic isn't it?
***I figured that being confident would hide the fact that I smelled.