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February 14, 2013

you just want to meet cute


ultimate meet-cute via Disney's 101 Dalmatians. Side note, I always wanted Anita's hat.

There’s really no hiding that I want to be in a rom-com.  I bought a blouse last year that had little flowers printed all over it and called it my rom-com shirt, which I would be wearing when I ran into Mr. Right in a meet-cute scenario in Central Park.  I would be holding a baguette in my Going Green canvas grocery bag.

The shirt wasn’t a secret.  I told my mom and sister the plan for this shirt, and it went over like,
“Georgette, can you cut these tomatoes for me?”  My mom stopped at the cutting board to look at me sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal from the box.  “Oh wait, you’re wearing your rom-com shirt.  Pamela will you please cut these tomatoes so your sister doesn’t ruin the shirt she wants to meet her husband in?”

The added irony to this is that I don’t want the romance.  I’m in a weird stifled stage where the idea of dating gives me the heebies*, so for now, I just like to dress the part and purchase baguettes and plan meet-cutes.

Such as Scenario 1, the elevator.  We’ve all seen how these play out.  Boy and girl meet in an elevator and strike up a conversation because (a) the girl or boy is sloppy and has just barely caught the elevator while also brushing his or her teeth; (b) the boy or girl was humming a song that clearly interested the other occupant to strike up said conversation; or (c) the elevator was pretty faulty and both individuals, despite having important places to go to, have to make the best of sitting on the floor of the elevator and waiting for Jack from Speed to come save them.

Scenario 2 deals with purchasing of any kind: grabbing the last box of Cinnamon Toast crunch of the shelf when both of their hands meet, resulting in a friendly argument over who should take it home; allowing someone to cut in line but the cashier leaves after that person and the cuttee becomes screwed; making an odd selection at a bookstore that intrigues and strike up conversation.

Scenario 3 is more possible and happens at a party.  There are many variances on this theme, all of which depend on age.  A meet-cute high school edition would happen during spin the bottle or a forced game of Seven Minutes in Heaven, where neither party want to take part but begrudgingly do.  Granted, no one even plays these games anymore.  I think there are apps for that or people just sext now.  I’m not sure.

The 20-30-something set would have meet-cutes where the boy or girl approaches the odd person out at the party.  You know, because that person has deep issues and was dragged to the party against his or her will.

I want to disclaim that I don’t believe that any of this will ever happen to me.  I’m more likely to meet a nice upstanding gentleman on match.com I’m sure.  I've had a couple of meet-cutes before, but they were more frightening than anything.

Like the time this guy snuck into my section of the rotating glass door to the gym. I had no idea that he was behind me, until I couldn't push the door forward anymore because his book bag was caught.

I turned around and surprisingly did not scream.  Instead, I looked at him, frightened.  "What?"  I looked at him.  It was the guy who paced outside with his cell phone when I walked past.  "What are you doing here?"  I am so surprised that I had the ability to even say that.

The guy looked at me, his phone still held at his ear.  He turned the glass, then to his book bag, tried to unstick it unsuccessfully, then looked back at me.

"Shit."

What a lazy idiot.  A perfectly good meet-cute wasted.

Happy Valentine's Day!



*This stage may or may not be a constant way of life.