My boss brought over a friend's kids to the store today, Em and Kate. They're six and five respectively.
Now these kids are pretty cool already. Em is already really smart. I mean, she is so intuitive and picks up really quickly when we try to have grown-up* talk around her. Kate is the feisty blonde girl who loves her heels. No really. I've seen children's heels that she's been gifted with. They do exist!
Being kids, I'm always a little nervous to interact with them, mainly because, well, who knows what they pick up, right? I mean, I often try to tell Em that she's beautiful and Kate that she's smart, just because I always hear people tell them the opposite. I want them to be confident, well-adjusted adults.
So during work, Kate helped me out and I complimented her for being clever and doing a great job the entire time. When we closed--okay as everyone else closed the store around me--I stood at the counter with Emma, who apparently earned a small basket while working in the back. I took it from her and asked, "What's in here? Muffins?"
She looked at me oddly, and I took a fake, imagined muffin from the inside and took a bite. I leaned the basked to her to take. "Want?"
She took one too, and we started eating muffins. Of course, when the pastry turned to pie, we started to have an imagined food fight. Surprisingly, that was rather messy. Though the clean-up wasn't so bad.
As you can see, we were having a very well-informed time. I mean, we were using imaginations and we were laughing, which is what I think is key when handling kids. But it's when I had to leave that I ruined it all.
I stood at the door and they followed me. They saw my sister's car, which looks like a giant lego, ergo it looks fun and kid-friendly. They expressed interest in seeing it, but I knew that my sister was in a hurry and was already waiting for a long while. My boss came behind them and joked about me taking them with me tonight, and I told her that that would be kidnapping! Horrors!
Now I assume that parents have that talk with their kids more often than when I grew up**. I attribute this to those shows on prime time t.v. where they catch predators or test normal people what they would do if they saw a kid being kidnapped. Either way, these kids jumped on the word and started to tell me that they didn't want me to go to jail and would stay at the store, and my boss looked up at me, reassuring them that I was joking, and her eyes were wide. "I think you just scared them."
And I scrambled away, apologizing, pretty sure I just scarred them for life.
Which is why I shouldn't hang out with kids.
*First, I never thought I'd attribute anything I'm part of as grown-up talk. Second, this term is usually reserved for those moment when two grown up begin whispering to one another in vague terms, maybe using a folder or hand to hide their whispering with one another. That always drove me nuts as a kid. I always tried to foil it.
**I also have to say that my parents may have ill-prepared me for that.
